. . . i loved you first

moving outThe DAY you LEFT was the worst DAY of my LIFE.

You LEFT without SAYING good-bye and when you did YOU were ALREADY gone.

And not only that you LEFT without giving me a HUG or a KISS but LEFT me with a TEXT that you were LEAVING but I had NO idea YOU were ALREADY gone.

It’s HARD to PRETEND everything is OK when it’s NOT and MAYBE it is BECAUSE I would have NEVER left YOU like you LEFT me and I knew the day was COMING but I didn’t THINK it would be NOW.

And you may THINK life is BETTER without YOU but it’s NOT.

ALL I want to do is CRY but I try my BEST to NOT let it get to ME or I will cry FOREVER.

There’s so much I WANT to SAY but I RATHER not ONLY because it’s too LATE now. . . but I will SAY something . . . I LOVE and MISS your PRETTY face and I JUST hope you are HAPPY and you FIND everything you are LOOKING for in LIFE.

I know you LOVE me and always will BUT remember . . .

. . . i loved you first

take care BEAUTIFUL

Love,

your ONE and ONLY

psalm 30:5 for his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning

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if this is what AMERICA is all about. . .

bordermami, where are YOU?? and where’s my papi??

I looked and looked EVERYWHERE for you but I couldn’t FIND of you.

I know you ALWAYS said never to TALK to STRANGERS but I asked SOMEONE if she knew WHERE you were and as soon as I asked

¿sabes dónde está mi mami?

She LOOKED the OTHER way like she didn’t even HEAR me but I KNOW she did because she MUMBLED something and walked away.

If ONLY I knew what she SAID.

I don’t know what is going on but this PLACE is full of KIDS who were also taken from their PARENTS.

I’m TIRED of being TREATED like I don’t BELONG here because I don’t.

None of us DO.

This is SOMETHING I never want to go THROUGH again!!!

If I would have KNOWN this was how it was gunna be I would have BEGGED you to STAY but there’s NOTHING we can do NOW that we are HERE.

All I can do now is HOPE and PRAY. Hope that we find each other soon and pray that we NEVER come BACK.

mami. . .

. . . I would give EVERYTHING in the WORLD to be with you and my papi right now, even if that meant going back WHERE we came FROM.

I’m PROUD of who I AM and where we came FROM.

I know you said you WANTED a BETTER life for US and the only WAY to live a better LIFE was if we came to “AMERICA” so we CAME and here we are SEPARATED from ONE another . . .

 if this is what AMERICA (LAND of the FREE) is ALL about. . . I don’t want ANYTHING to do with IT!!!

you’re not the only one

nottheonlyoneThe struggles, the insecurities, the stereotypes, the depression, the hate and the anger I experienced it ALL so for you to PRETEND like you liked ME when you didn’t –didn’t BOTHER me one BIT.

At FIRST it did but I got OVER that SH!T.

I’m not PERFECT and you out of ALL people should KNOW that, but if you wanna JUDGE me go ahead

. . . . I’m sure you’re NOT the ONLY one

matthew 7:1-2 do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you

my first time. . .

kamiit’s my FIRST time so I’m kinda NERVOUS, nervous because I’ve HEARD a lot about FIRST times and since it’s my FIRST I don’t KNOW what to EXPECT.

but I’m NOT too WORRIED about it I’m READY for this.

ready to LOVE her, to HOLD her, ready to TELL her how BEAUTIFUL she is EVEN if she doesn’t UNDERSTAND what I’m TALKING about but MOST of ALL I’m ready to SHOW her there is so much MORE to LOVE than just WORDS.

know being a DADDY isn’t going to be EASY but for KAMILLA I will do ANYTHING even if it’s my FIRST time . . .

inspired by baby kamilla

psalm 127:3 children are a gift from the lord; they are a reward from him

“imaginary lines”

boundaries2I’m in the MIDDLE of a BOX.

A box I BUILT all by MYSELF.

A BOX made of IMAGINARY lines that ONLY I can SEE.

LINES to keep those WHO have HURT me from getting too CLOSE and others are to keep me from getting to CLOSE to those I have hurt.

I’ve learned there are just SOME things I NEED to stay AWAY from and in order to do so I need to set BOUNDARIES.

Boundaries to keep my distance and the only way to keep my distance is by using “imaginary lines

micah 7:11 the day for building your walls will come, the day for extending your boundaries

“a moment of SILENCE”

floridaThe bell RINGS, I grab my bag, and head for the DOOR.

As I walked out the door, I noticed SOMETHING going on down the HALLWAY.

I couldn’t SEE what was going on since it was so CROWDED.

I tried to go LEFT and I tried to go RIGHT but it was hard to go either WAY since SOME were RUNNING this WAY while others were RUNNING that WAY.

As soon as I heard gun shots I knew EXACTLY what was going on.

I looked to SEE who was shooting and it happened to be one of my classmates.

He was shooting as if he was at WAR?? But at WAR with WHO??? he was the ONLY one with a GUN!!

Just when I THOUGHT I would get AWAY I STUMBLED over one of my FRIENDS who tripped trying to get AWAY.

The shots got LOUDER and LOUDER meaning only ONE thing. Meaning the shooter was getting closer and closer.

I tried to PROTECT my FRIEND from getting HURT but everything happened so FAST we BOTH got shot.

I held her for as LONG as I COULD, trying to keep her from dying but she didn’t make it.

At that POINT, I was in shock and didn’t know what to do so I LAID there with my EYES closed PRETENDING to be dead.

Once the gun shots faded away there was a long MOMENT of SILENCE.

I’m not quite sure what happened after that.

I must have passed out BECAUSE when I woke up I was in so much pain.

After what seemed like FOREVER I finally realized I was still at school.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one who had been shot but I was the ONLY one ALIVE.

I don’t remember that many getting shot but then again there were so many shots fired I lost count.

The SILENCE scared me to BELIEVE I was slowly dying.

Who KNOWS maybe I was or maybe I wasn’t.

As I laid there WAITING for someone to RESCUE me, I prayed to GOD. I prayed to live ANOTHER day BUT if it was TIME for ME to go that I went in PEACE and in PEACE is how I went.

                                                                                                        

Valentine’s Day is a day of LOVE but for Florida it was a day of pain and sorrow.

On February 14, 2018 NiKolas Cruz walked into a high school and started shooting leaving 17 dead.

This is not the FIRST school shooting but I pray it will be the LAST.

I hope a tragedy like this will change THINGS forever BUT if it DON’T I don’t KNOW what WILL.

if you would join me for a moment. . . a moment of SILENCE in memory of those who lost their lives and for the families and friends who lost a loved one in this tragedy

 

psalm 11:5 the lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion

LIVING in COLOR

For so many years LIFE has been in BLACK and WHITE.

The VOLUME of HATE echoed through the STREETS, dividing PEOPLE because of the COLOR of their SKIN.

As TIME passed LIFE went from LIVING in BLACK and WHITE to LIVING in COLOR and it was all BECAUSE of a VOICE that caught everyone’s ATTENTION.

A VOICE that SPOKE of SOMETHING he had and that SOMETHING was a DREAM. A DREAM that ONE day EVERYONE would be TREATED equal and NO ONE would be TREATED different because of their COLOR.

Since then some things have CHANGED and some things have NOT!!

The VOLUME of HATE varies from time to time, sometimes louder than others.

Everyone was BORN with a PURPOSE and that was to LOVE one another BUT somewhere along the WAY hate was TAUGHT. Taught in such a way that caused PEOPLE to REPLACE “love” with “hate

this has been going on for far too long and it needs to stop!!!!

Together let’s love ONE ANOTHER and NOT love WHO WE WANT TO LOVE. . . .

Let’s STOP living in BLACK and WHITE and start LIVING IN COLOR!!!!!

john 13:34 love each other. just as i have loved you, you should love each other.

 inspired by dashawn h. . . . love pass it on

love take as much as you need