let the STORY be TOLD

leeI walk AROUND looking for SOMEWHERE to HIDE trying to keep it TOGETHER but it’s HARD when I have a HEART that’s SHATTERED to PIECES.

                                                                     

I don’t UNDERSTAND why it took so LONG for SOMEONE to FIND my SON.

I BELIEVE this TRAGEDY could have been PREVENTED if the POLICE would have DONE their JOB and took this SERIOUS rather than to WAIT for SOMEONE else to do their JOB for THEM.

Maybe it’s just ME or that I’m FRUSTRATED of how this SITUATION was taken CARE of but I’m SURE if it was their CHILD they wouldn’t have WAITED until it was already too LATE.

                                                                     

All I want is JUSTICE for my SON . . . I DESERVE to KNOW what HAPPENED.

I will NEVER understand HOW someone COULD take my SON’S life but I would LIKE to KNOW why??

SOMEONE out there KNOWS something about the NIGHT my SON went MISSING . . . and if that SOMEONE is YOU please PLEASE please don’t be AFRAID to say SOMETHING

Please –let the STORY be TOLD

                                                                     

luke 8:17 For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.

in loving memory of lee manuel paulino

 

“memory loss”

forgetI don’t KNOW why but I worry about YOU sometimes.

I WORRY that you SUFFER from memory loss.

I could be WRONG but at TIMES it’s like YOU tend to FORGET who I am or that you LOVE me by the WAY you TREAT me.

Not ONLY by the WAY you TREAT me but by the WAY you TALK to ME sometimes and it’s NOT always what you SAY but HOW you SAY it.

I hate that it’s EASY for YOU to FORGET who I am when you’re MAD and HARD for YOU to LOVE me when you’re NOT.

i can’t BELIEVE that after ALL we’ve been THROUGH you tend to FORGET about the LOVE we SHARE.

But I guess that’s what HAPPENS when you LOVE someone who SUFFERS from “memory loss

1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth. Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits. Love will never end.

the LITTLE girl who LOST her SHOE

2015-06-30-1435692887-3548802-2cinderellaglassslipperdisneyweddingphotophotographer. . . EVER since then I’ve been KNOWN as the LITTLE girl who LOST her SHOE

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I LOST my MOM when I was LITTLE and I’m not quite sure what HAPPENED to my DAD but I live with my AUNT (tia) and her twins.

Every time I ASK my TIA about my DAD she says –she doesn’t KNOW and she doesn’t CARE!!

I SWEAR she HATES me by the WAY she TREATS ME and by the WAY she TALKS to me and for her GIRLS they just as MEAN. They are just like their MOM.

I do EVERYTHING around the HOUSE. It’s like all I ever do is CLEAN clean CLEAN.

While I’m CLEANING my tia WATCHES her NOVELAS and the GIRLS well they PLAY with their TOYS all DAY long.

And while I clean I DANCE with the BROOM pretending I’m a PRINCESS.

I think of how LIFE would be WITHOUT my tia and the girls always BOSSING me AROUND.

One DAY during my CLEANING and DANCING around the HOUSE there was a KNOCK at the DOOR but WHO could it be NO ONE ever comes OVER and I don’t BLAME them with as MEAN as my TIA is I wouldn’t EITHER.

When I went to OPEN the DOOR it was a FRIEND of my tia’s LEAVING an INVITATION for her DAUGHTER’S quinceañera.

I OVERHEARD my tia say we would be THERE and if there was ANYTHING she NEEDED help with??

I THOUGHT to myself what was I going to WEAR?? All I ever wore was SWEATS and I always had my HAIR in a MESSY bun I guess that’s what HAPPENS when you NEVER go ANYWHERE.

I was MORE than sure my TIA wasn’t going to LET me GO in SWEATS but as MEAN as she was she PROBABLY would.

I was so EXCITED when she TOLD us to get READY she was TAKING us SHOPPING for the quinceañera.

When we GOT to the MALL she TOLD us NOT to ask for ANYTHING we were JUST there to FIND something for the DANCE and that was it.

She FOUND what she was going to WEAR and SOMETHING for the GIRLS but what about ME???

When I finally got the COURAGE to ask her if I was getting SOMETHING to WEAR she LAUGHED and said I wasn’t getting ANYTHING. I cried WHY?!?! She SAID because I wasn’t going ANYWHERE and said if ANYONE asked I was REALLY really SICK.

She said I was staying HOME and ASHLEY was coming over to WATCH me.

Ashley was my MOM’S best FRIEND. I haven’t SEEN her for the LONGEST time maybe it’s BECAUSE she MOVED so FAR away.

On the WAY home I TRIED so HARD not to CRY but I couldn’t HELP it and the MORE and MORE the GIRLS called me a CRY baby the MORE I cried.

I had a PLAN as soon as we got HOME I was going to PACK all my THINGS and when they LEFT I was going to RUN away and that’s EXACTLY what I did I packed my THINGS and WAITED. I made sure I put my THINGS in the CLOSET so that if ANYONE came to my ROOM they wouldn’t SEE all my things PACKED.

I had a SMILE on my FACE dancing around the HOUSE cleaning while they got READY knowing they would be LEAVING soon.

At that MOMENT there was NOTHING they could DO or SAY that would make me SAD.

They WAITED for ASHLEY to get here BEFORE they LEFT.

Tia told her she would be HOME a LITTLE after MIDNIGHT and told her to make sure I went to BED early and if I was ANY kind of TROUBLE to give her a CALL.

When I heard HER call ME trouble I walked away and rolled my EYES.

And as soon as they LEFT I went STRAIGHT to my ROOM to get my THINGS and LEAVE when I noticed ASHLEY following ME.

I was going to LEAVE even if she didn’t LET me.

When she ASKED me where I was going and that she THOUGHT I was SICK.

I TOLD her I was RUNNING away and that I wasn’t SICK my tia just LIED so that I wouldn’t GO with them.

I CRIED telling her how MEAN they were to ME.

She told me how SORRY she was and that my MOM was NOTHING like my tia.

She cried TELLING me how she MISSED my MOM so VERY much.

And said she was ONLY in town for the quinceañera but when my TIA found OUT she was in TOWN she BEGGED her to WATCH me because I was REALLY really SICK so she said YES. She said there was NO way she could SAY no.

She WIPED away my TEARS and told me to get my SHOES on so I did.

She took me to the MALL but didn’t TELL me for WHAT until we got there and when we did she said we were going to the DANCE and that was THAT.

She BOUGHT me a BEAUTIFUL baby blue dress and some PRETTY glass SLIPPERS.

When we got HOME she took her TIME in getting me READY before she got READY. She did my HAIR and my NAILS.

With TEARS in her EYES she said I looked so BEAUTIFUL and that I REMINDED her so MUCH of my MOM.

I really FELT like a PRINCESS for the FIRST time in my LIFE and it was thanks to SOMEONE who REALLY meant a lot to my MOM.

She HUGGED me and PROMISED we would have so much FUN.

As we pulled up to the PARTY I was kinda SCARED of what would HAPPEN if I seen my TIA and ASHLEY said “hey don’t WORRY we’re HERE to have FUNN.”

She was RIGHT there was NOTHING to WORRY about with that MANY people there. I NEVER once seen my tia or the GIRLS the WHOLE night.

Everyone was DANCING having a GOOD time.

But there was some GUY I noticed that kept LOOKING our WAY. For some REASON he looked so FAMILIAR but i wasn’t sure from where.

When the DJ ANNOUNCED it was the LAST song of the NIGHT that guy FINALLY came up to ASHLEY and asked her to DANCE.

She said the ONLY way she would DANCE with HIM is if I could DANCE with them . . . He smiled and SAID –of COURSE.

They gave each OTHER a HUG and said they hadn’t seen each other in EVER.

The MUSIC was so LOUD but I could HEAR him asking QUESITONS about who I was just THEN my TIA yanked me by the ARM and asked ME what I was doing THERE.

She YANKED me so HARD I lost my BALANCE and LOST my GLASS slipper as she PULLED my OUT of the CROWD. I really hoped SOMEONE would find it and give to me BEFORE we LEFT but it didn’t HAPPEN.

I really loved my GLASS slippers.

Everything HAPPENED so FAST I didn’t even get the CHANCE to THANK Ashley for EVERYTHING.

My tia YELLED at ME all the WAY home. I faded her yell out by THINKING about how much FUN I had.

I had the BEST time of my LIFE.

The NEXT day while I was in my ROOM I was STILL getting YELLED at from the LIVING room about the NIGHT before but it didn’t BOTHER me I was already USED to it.

I THOUGHT I heard a KNOCK on the DOOR so cracked open my DOOR a LITTLE bit just ENOUGH to see who it WAS and it HAPPENED to be ASHLEY and the GUY from LAST night.

What were they doing HERE??

I was a LITTLE worried about WHAT was going to HAPPEN especially after what HAPPENED last NIGHT.

They asked if they COULD come in they REALLY needed to TALK to HER.

She really didn’t have a CHOICE they WALKED in EVEN before she COULD say ANYTHING.

The guy from LAST night seemed to be VERY upset and was DEMANDING for an EXPLANATION.

He asked what REALLY happened to her SISTER and how COME she NEVER told him SHE had a DAUGHTER.

He got EVEN more MAD when he ASKED her how COME she NEVER told him that BEAUTIFUL little GIRL he always asked about was his DAUGHTER.

She tried to CALM him DOWN but it DIDN’T work he ONLY got LOUDER.

He CLAIMED he knew EVERYTHING.

Mark 4:22 For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light.

Who was this GUY and how did he KNOW my MOM??

He said he WANTED to SEE me and that he wasn’t got to LEAVE without ME.

I had NEVER seen my TIA so SCARED.

You could HEAR it in her VOICE that she was SCARED by the WAY she STUDDERED for HIM to LET her EXPLAIN.

She started by SAYING she was SORRY and that she KNEW that as SOON as he FOUND out he HAD a DAUGHTER he would take me away from HER and I was ALL she HAD left of her SISTER. She BEGGED him NOT to TAKE me.

He YELLED he HEARD enough and that he WANTED to SEE me NOW!!

She CRIED she wasn’t going to FIGHT with HIM and if he was THERE for ME she wasn’t going to STOP him from TAKING me.

I was so CONFUSED maybe it was because I couldn’t hear much of what she was saying and all I could hear was HIM getting LOUDER and LOUDER.

Out of FAER my tia CALLED me to the LIVING room.

I said –yea TIA!! as I WALKED into the LIVING room as if I had no IDEA we had COMPANY.

She said –mija I want you to MEET your DAD.

He has SOMETHING to TELL you.

With ONE hand BEHIND his BACK he asked me to CLOSE my EYES and to HOLD out my HAND he had SOMETHING for ME.

How did he KNOW I LOVED surprises??

When I OPENED my EYES he said –I THINK this BELONGS to YOU.

It was my GLASS slipper.

With a SMILE on my FACE I gave him a BIGG hug.

My tia asked that I get my THINGS together.

I wasn’t SURE what she MEANT by get my THINGS together.

My daddy said –for me to PACK up my THINGS he was HERE to PICK me up.

I giggled if he ONLY knew I ALREADY had my things PACKED from the DAY before.

As we PACKED my THINGS in his CAR, my TIA nor the GIRLS said a WORD. They didn’t EVEN say bye but it’s OK.

On our WAY to DADDY’S house I asked HIM how did he FIND out he had a DAUGHTER and how did he KNOW it was ME??

He LOOKED over and SMILED at ASHLEY.

He said –she TOLD him EVERYTHING.

the END

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If you’re WONDERING what HAPPENED next well let me TELL you.

DADDY fell in LOVE with and MARRIED Ashley and we LIVED happily EVER after.

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. . . EVER since then I’ve been KNOWN as the LITTLE girl who LOST her SHOE

 

 

 

 

 

 

“a mom with NO heart”

babycastI don’t get it.

I don’t get why THINGS had to END this WAY.

                                           

i WISH you didn’t have to SEE me “this” WAY so PLEASE ignore ALL the EVIDENCE on my LITTLE body proving I was BRUTALLY murdered and PROMISE me YOU won’t CRY when you DO.

TRUST me there’s no NEED to WORRY, mommy will get what she DESERVES and she KNOWS it.

I may have been LITTLE but that didn’t STOP her from STARVING me or from BEATING me to DEATH.

It wasn’t the FIRST time BUT it sure was the LAST.

There’s NOTHING she CAN do to HURT me NOW that I’m gone.

                                                                                               

I can’t BELIEVE it!!!

At only 3 MONTHS old, I was FOUND with a fractured skull.

I was VIOLENTLY shaken and suffered from BRAIN trauma and that’s when my LIFE came to an END.

And at the TIME of my DEATH, not only had I suffered head TRAUMA but I also but I SUFFERED broken RIBS and a BROKEN leg.

I lay here in my LITTLE casket THINKING how MUCH I hate the FACT that I didn’t DESERVE to DIE but did and for NO reason.

Who does THAT??

You KNOW who. . . .

“a mom with NO heart

                                                                        

Proverbs 24:11 If you see someone on their way to death or in danger of being killed, you must do something to save them.

Based on a TRUE story . . . in LOVING memory of Colesvintong Florestal Jr.

sleeping BEAUTY

sleepSo I’ve been in a DEEP deep SLEEP the last couple of days, SLEEPING like NEVER before and I don’t LIKE it.

The DOCTOR says I’m in a COMA.

I call it SLEEPING with BEAUTY.

It’s like I’m ASLEEP but I’m NOT.

I can HEAR everything that’s going on around ME. EVERYTHING from the DOCTORS coming in and out of the ROOM every little WHILE to check on ME to FAMILY and FRIENDS crying for ME to WAKE up.

If ONLY it was that EASY.

I WISH there was a WAY for ME to LET them KNOW I can HEAR their EVERY word and how much I ENJOY their COMPANY but there’s NOT much I can DO right NOW but LAY here and CHERISH the WORDS said when they are SPOKEN and CHERISH the TIME we SPEND with ONE another.

                                           

the beauty of sleeping is like sleeping with beauty and someone sleeping with beauty is sleeping beauty . . .

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

is it REALLY worth IT?!?

imagei sure don’t THINK of ANYONE but MYSELF while i’m OUT doing THINGS i know i SHOULDN’T be DOING, things that can CAUSE me to LOSE everything and i don’t know WHY but when i DO it’s like NOTHING else MATTERS.

what i’m AFRAID of MORE than ANYTHING is what’s going to HAPPEN to my FAMILY when they find out WHAT i’ve DONE and what WORRIES me even MORE is what EVERYONE is going to THINK of ME when the TRUTH comes OUT .

BUT i have NO ONE to BLAME but myself.

i know when ALL is SAID and DONE i’m going to WISH while i was out DOING what i was DOING i would have THOUGHT to MYSELF “is it REALLY worth IT

                                                              

if YOU’RE out doing THINGS you know YOU shouldn’t YOU should ASK yourself “is it REALLY worth IT

Matthew 26:41 Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!

Mark 10:9 (NIV) Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

the DAY my DADDY let ME go

3you LOOK away with TEARS in your EYES when YOU see ME for the FIRST time in my LONG white DRESS.

I TRY to keep it TOGETHER but DADDY it’s HARD when I’ve NEVER seen YOU cry BEFORE and now’s NOT the TIME for ME to CRY.

We are about to WALK down the AISLE, so I quickly WIPE away my TEARS and hold on to your ARM as we WALK into the CHURCH.

It’s like EVERYTHING is in SLOW motion even though it’s NOT.

DADDY, I FEEL like the LUCKIEST girl in the WORLD with YOU by my SIDE.

when we get to the END of the AISLE you kinda HESITATE.

I don’t THINK you were READY to let ME go UNTIL i LOOKED at YOU with TEARS in my EYES and said –daddy (pause). . . YOU can let ME go NOW

YOU looked back at ME with TEARS in YOUR eyes, LEANED over and gave ME a KISS on my CHEEK.

and that’s when you let go

Genesis 2:24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.